GLAUGUST 2025 - Key Swords and Lock Golems

For Glaugust, the first prompt I got was "Create something inspired by Kingdom Hearts without looking up anything about Kingdom Hearts". 

I am not a fan of Kingdom Hearts but I vaguely remember that's the games with keys that are swords and has Disney characters in it for some reason (or maybe that's from something else and I am going insane). 

 

From Hero's Armory

 

The Key Swords are ancient relics, given the power to open up flesh as well as they open up locks. They are +1 swords that can be used once a day to cast knock. When used to batter down a locked door, portcullis, iron bars, or anything similar (but only if they are locked) it will break it down with only 1d4 rounds of battering. When the Key Sword reduces a creature to exactly 1 hp they have their soul unlocked and will have a deep personal revelation about the nature of themselves (note, stabbing your friend until their depression is cured will definitely do more harm than good).

 

The Lock Beasts are ancient constructs, crafted to seal away the greatest of evils and most glorious treasures. They appear as large humans made entirely out of chain wrapped tightly together, at the center of their chest is a massive padlock which all the chains attach to. Use the stats of an iron golem as the base for the Lock Beast but remove all of their special abilities and instead give them the following traits

• On their turn they may lock any number of things instead of attacking
• If someone successfully picks the central lock the beast takes 2d12 damage
• If the knock spell is cast on them they are stunned for one round
• If the lock spell is cast on them they get +2 ac for the duration 
• There is one lock that, while the Lock Beast lives, cannot be unlocked by any means, the Lock Beast knows whenever the lock is messed with, if you can't decide there is a 50/50 chance it is either locking up a horrible monster or guarding fabulous wealth and treasure
• They take double damage from Key Swords 
• If someone attacks with a Key Sword and they aim for the padlock on a hit they can unlock the beast, killing it instantly but the Key Sword will be stuck in the lock, you can still use it as a +1 mace but it loses all of its other properties

Long ago there was a great civilization of wizards and, as you can probably guess, the wonders they made were only eclipsed by their mistakes, too horrible and numerous to name. As their time was coming to an end some of them realized that though they could not bring back their empires glory they could contain their failures and try to make the future better for everyone else. The Lock Beast's were their solution and it was working very well, sealing away the most cursed of treasures and deadliest monsters. Sadly some wizards used the beasts to selfishly hide away their treasures, worse still other wizards made the Key Swords so that they could plunder the treasures of others or (foolishly) try and harness the power of some of the sealed monsters.  

What the Lock Beast Guards
1 Scrooge McDuck levels of gold
2 lots of money and 1d4 magic items you really want to give your party but haven't had an opportunity to give 
3 a legion of robotic soldiers who will follow anyone that reactivates them though they often misunderstand what you want and only solve problems through extreme violence
4 horrible magical radioactive waste, gives your spells cancer, mutates anything that gets close, will irradiate the whole dungeon in a week and (to a lesser extent) the entire surrounding hex in a month
5 enough zombies to change the genre of your campaign 
6 a dragon that's also a vampire that's also an archangel

 

Where in the dungeon is the Key Sword 
1 sitting on a stone column, the room is full of traps
2 in the hands of another adventuring party, they will definitely try and open the Lock Beast in this dungeon with it, regardless of how many times they are warned that this is a bad idea
3 being held by one of the most powerful denizens of the dungeon who has wisely decided not to open the Lock Beast
4 somewhere among all the junk of some goblins (or similar) who have no idea as to its true worth 
5 inside of the belly of a powerful monster who ate its last wielder
6 broken into multiple pieces, somewhere in the dungeon is a way to recombine them

Monstrous - Dragon

The fourth of my posts on using the book Monstrous to make some cool monsters. 

For inspiration I am using one of the guilds of Ravnica from Magic: the Gathering. Text in italics is from the book, text in bold is my own.

 

 

By Erica Yang

 

 

Dragon - Orzhov - Gold 

 

Vainglory

Although Gold's empire has laid in ruins for ages, Gold's vanity remains undiminished. Gold harbors a deep pride in its nature in being gold itself, leading it to hoard beautiful golden items and goldsmiths held in gilded birdcages. 

Sly heroes can attempt to appeal to this vanity by doing one of the following:

• Convincingly praise Gold with elaborate honorifics specific to Gold's vanity and the history of its former empire
• Present Gold with a fabulous gift appropriate to Gold's hoard 
• Tell Gold a tale about the folly of charity 

One or two failed attempts give Gold the upper hand in attempts to parley with it when using Serpent's Tongue. Further failed attempts will awaken Gold's Slumbering Cataclysm. 

 

Serpent's Tongue

When Gold and a mortal parley, they ask each other a question.

Gold must answer truthfully and even unwisely if the mortal has successfully appealed to Gold's Vainglory. The mortal must make a new appeal to Gold's Vainglory for each additional question they wish to ask. 

The mortal must answer truthfully and even unwisely if they hold any precious metal other than gold, or if they have failed an attempt to appeal to Gold's Vainglory. 

Ruinous Breath

Everything Gold touches comes to ruin, even the food it eats and the air it breathes. When Gold has recently consumed uncountable riches, its expelled breath corrupts and corrodes charity and kindness. 

 

Ageless Scales

Gold is coated with nigh-indestructible scales of pure gold. No mortal weapon can pierce them.

However, Gold's scales are marred by a massive fang of pure silver, the mark of a gruesome battle lost to history. 

Slumbering Cataclysm

When violently awakened from its slumber or moved to great anger, Gold descends upon a mortal civilization and utterly destroys a place of extreme wealth before returning to its lair.

Gold repeats this destructive act on a new target every day thereafter. Its path of destruction can only be ended by slaying Gold or by giving it all the gold in land.

 

By waitbutwhy.com

To be fully honest I am not quite happy with this monster, I have been thinking for a while about what to add to the end of this post and I have decided just to post it, no use in waiting for good ideas that might not come. 

 

 

Getting back to reviewing Monstrous I think the dragon entry is pretty good, the ruinous breath part seems a little weird to me but its fun and flavorful and could probably lead to some interesting situations. The serpents tongue/vainglory is very interesting and gives a nice amount of procedure to dealing with the dragon socially which is actually quite nice. The dragon was definitely one of the better entries in the book.

Monstrous - Chimera

My third post on Monstrous, I'm glad I finally got some time to write on this blog again.

As always I am going to use one of the guilds of Ravnica for inspiration, the text in italics is from the book and text in bold is my own writing. 

 

The Minotaur by George Frederic Watts

 

 

Chimera - Boros - The Revolutionary

 

Pride Goeth

The Revolutionary was once a mortal who forgot their place in the cosmic order, provoking the terrible fury of a powerful tormentor by trying to depose the terrible but divinely chosen King.

  

Tormented Transfiguration

As punishment for their offense, the mortal was transformed into the Revolutionary, featuring the following monstrous alterations to its body:

• A reminder of its lowly station: the body of a starving lion
• A source of constant misery: an iron crown nailed to its head
• A horror that cannot help but unleash on mortals it encounters: a halo of light that blinds and burns
• Its human head weeps tears of molten iron

Inexorable Doom

The Revolutionary is forever doomed to rule over the burnt remains of its kingdom, a sadistic form of "atonement" for the crime against its tormentor.

The tormentor created an obstacle to prevent the Revolutionary from escaping its doom: only when the descendants of the lord truly proclaim it to be a good ruler will it be freed. Not even death can free the Revolutionary from its anguish until this obstacle is overcome. 

 

Afflicted Blood

When the Revolutionary suffers a wound that would be deadly to a mortal, its afflicted blood spills in gouts, causing fire to erupt from the wound. 

Additionally, the Revolutionary can break off a limb or other body part to create a gushing fountain of afflicted blood, which it can channel into one of the following effects: 

• Shape the blood into a magical weapon
• Shoot the blood as a projectile
• Flood a nearby area with the blood

The severed body part regrows over the course of 13 days.  

 

 

The High Wills from Blasphemous

The man who would become the First King was visited by the gods and they said unto him "You shall be King, one for whom others will bow to" and so it was that all others bowed to the First King. When the First King was closest to Death he named his son to be the Second King and the gods were pleased and all rightfully bowed to him who was now the Second King. The line of the gods-chosen kings continued until the 17th King rose to the throne and said "My subjects who loyally served my fathers I ask of you to make me a temple, greater than all before it, one that shall glorify all the gods and myself and it shall be constructed in a year and a day". When a year and a day had come and gone the temple was not completed and the 17th King became enraged and forced his subjects to work under the whip. 

Within the heart of one of the knights of the 17th King pity and disgust took hold. He went to his most loyal subjects and bid them join him in ending the madness of the 17th King and so they did. The knights went to the castle of the 17th King and knowing they could not prevail with strength alone they spread fire and chaos through the castle. When they made it into the 17th King's throne room only the original knight was left and with his sword he committed a grave sin and slew the 17th King. It is said that the only thing louder than the flames that consumed the castle were the screams of the knight as the gods descended upon him.  

 

The blade of the knight can still be found in the ancient and burnt ruins of the castle, still thirsting for the blood of nobles. It is a +1 sword that acts as a +3 vorpal sword against nobility. The sword is also cursed, though the wielder may relinquish the blade at any time they will be relentlessly hunted by its next owner, additionally each month the wielder does not use the blade to kill a noble they lose 1 intelligence and wisdom but gain 1 strength, if this reduces the character to 0 intelligence or wisdom the blade will fully control their body and mindlessly slaughter any royalty it comes across. The blade cannot harm the Revolutionary under any circumstances. 

This one was quite fun to make (despite the fact that it took around half a year to get around to finishing) and the concept is quite strong. Honestly the only part that I find a bit weird about the chimera is the afflicted blood ability where it can make a magical weapon, it doesn't feel like an innate part of the chimera concept unless its supposed to represent something like cutting off Medusa's head and using it or something like a dark souls boss making a sword out of its blood or something? Even with that I still think it's one of the most solid creatures in the whole book, really nailing the vibe of a classical monster. 

Monstrous - Celestial

The third post from Monstrous, Celestials.

As per last time I am going to use one of the guilds of Ravnica for inspiration, the text in italics is from the book and text in bold is my own writing. 

By William Blake

Celestial - Simic - Firstborn

Awesome Presence

Mortal minds struggle to perceive the beautiful and terrible form of the Firstborn. It appears as a multitude of primordial beasts and serpents bound within the frame of ever churning earth and sea.

Common folk who behold the Firstborn for the first time must choose 1 of the following actions before addressing it further

• Make a sacrifice of flesh or gold
• Accept a physical mark of the Firstborn, such as scales, a new mouth on their palm, or brackish water instead of mud
• Have serpents burst forth from their mouth

 

Prophet

The Firstborn's appearance in the world is preceded by the pronouncements of a mortal prophet clad in shed snake skin.

Before they witnessed the Firstborn's divine judgement firsthand, the prophet was a wet nurse for a powerful and deranged wizard.

When the prophet speaks at length about the Firstborn's coming judgement before a rapt crowd, they condemn a specific mortal or group of mortals for their sins and call down a plague of venomous and rabid animals. 

 

Purview

The Firstborn judges and punishes sins of unnaturally changing or creating life.

For those who will listen, the Firstborn warns that their final divine judgement will be executed when the alchemist Robin De Villepin's homunculus speaks its first word.

The Firstborn further instructs that their judgement can only be avoided by burning Robin's manse and making sure none of his books or creations survive, a cruelly difficult task.

Divine Judgement

The punishments dealt by the Firstborn are severe to the point of excess, mirroring the sin with a cruel irony by transforming living beings into chaotic and primordial versions of themselves. The Firstborn begins by judging individual creatures and objects, but its final judgement can affect entire settlements, civilizations, or worlds.

Whatever the Firstborn's verdict, they will choose a new prophet, either a survivor of the cataclysm or a convert who has witnessed the mercy of the gods. The Firstborn will prefer to select a hero, and should they accept, they will receive the gift of prophecy as well as the ability to call down minor plagues. But they may be summoned at any time to herald the next divine judgement.

 

 

Unknown Author

 

Unlike the last two I don't really have much to add to this beast. God/Gods made it as the first living being which is why it is unformed and ever changing and they send it to decimate anyone who tries to copy them.

 

 

Me-Stew

 Me-Stew

 

I have nothing to put in my stew, you see,
Not a bone or a bean or a black-eyed pea,
So I'll just climb in the pot to see
If I can make a stew out of me.
I'll put in some pepper and salt and I'll sit
In the bubbling water--I won't scream a bit.
I'll sing while I simmer, I'll smile while I'm stewing,
I'll taste myself often to see how I'm doing.
I'll stir me around with this big wooden spoon
And serve myself up at a quarter to noon.
So bring out your stew bowls,
You gobblers and snackers.
Farewell--and I hope you enjoy me with crackers!

 

 By Shel Silverstein

 

 

 

By SteelAngelIchigo

 

 

 

This is a Δ template for whatever chef class you have, to be added at your leisure. Read more about them here.

 

(Δ) Me-Stew

 

First you will have to be an excellent chef at least on the level that a king would hire you, then you must do some research. Find holy books relating to self sacrifice and martyrdom and ruminate on them for a week and you will know what must be done. Find a person or something that was a person and watch them eat another with utter refinement, take notes on everything they do. Find another such person and watch them eat another with utter savagery, take notes on everything they do. Find one final such person and watch them eat a piece of you, take notes on everything they do. If you lose any of your notes or are convinced that cannibalism is wrong you must start again.

 

This will kill you, you probably guessed that but it will be worth it, it must be worth it.

 

The first step is to wash yourself. Do not use soap (the oil on your skin is delectable). The water should be between room temperature and lukewarm, hot water will dry you out and cold water will ruin the texture. 

The second step is to get into the cauldron, it must be big enough that if you sit cross legged you will be fully submerged. Fill it with clear water and light a fire underneath it, an assistant will be useful here as from now on you cannot leave the cauldron without ruining the meal.

 

The third step requires a pantry worth of ingredients of the highest quality, this will cost the equivalent of a full suit of plate armor. Prepare the ingredients and toss them in beside you. At this point the water will be boiling but you will not scream, you are too engrossed in your work. Taste yourself too, adjust the spices and be careful not to over salt yourself. This will take 8 hours before you completely boil away, there won't even be bones to fish out. 

 

The fourth step is to serve it of course, the effect of the meal depends on how it is shared. 

• If shared among a community the soup will seem to be never ending, feeding everyone for months. Everyone will love the party of course but the cooking of the community will also change, chefs and cooks will unconsciously start to make the meals that you made or invented, within a few years your works will be widespread. One person from this community will join the party, starting with 1 level in chef and 1 level in another class of the dead chef's player's choice which they can play as.
• If shared among the party the soup will feed everyone for a week, though with such a full stomach you wont be able or willing to do much else for that week. When the party finally finishes the meal they all feel incredible, roll 4d6 drop the lowest for each of your stats in order, if you got higher than the existing stat its value is now the value you rolled, if you got equal to or lower it still goes up by 1. The lifespan of all who consumed it is doubled and they become immune to all mundane diseases.
• If eaten by a single person the soup will last a month but if you don't eat it for every meal (not that hard, it is quite delicious) or let anyone else eat even a drop you lose all benefit from it. After finishing the soup the knowledge of the chef is passed on to you, in only a week you will be as good a chef as your predecessor and you will know what must be done to make Me-Stew (you may use your predecessor's notes). The voice of your predecessor will linger within your mind and you can summon their ghost to act as an assistant when cooking. If you cook yourself into Me-Stew and only a single person eats the soup again both you and your predecessor will be within them, this can be stacked any number of times.
  

Monstrous - Bugs

My second post on Monstrous, this time it's the Bugs. 

As per last time I am going to use one of the guilds of Ravnica for inspiration, the text in italics is from the book and text in bold is my own writing. 

Oh yeah for some reason I can't add images, hopefully some time in the future I can add the images I want. Edit I got images to work by using a different computer!

And one last thing, yes I did change the background, got bored of the old one.

Insectile Aberration by: Nils Hamm

Bug - Dimir - Little Ears

The Great Work

The Little Ears toils endlessly on the Great Work, an ultimately pointless project that will never truly be complete.

Though Little Ears find people as disgusting and irrational as people find them, they do see a certain value in non-Little Ear folk. The Little Ears build and maintain the Molted Markets to trade with mortal folk for the materials they believe will help in the completion of the Great Work.

The Little Ear's grand and absurd goal is the construction of all the information on Daurdec Volbamzu, a task that may be aided by the non-Little Ear folk's information on all people, especially Daurdec Volbamzu (though they almost never ask directly for him).

 

Loathed

Common folk despise the Little Ear, finding its form disgusting and its methods of work unsavory. The Little Ear has 4 large legs and too many smaller ones, a segmented body, and expressionless, alien eyes. In addition, the Little Ear has a disturbingly human mouth, a centipede like tail, and a massive pincer on their tail.

When common folk come into close contact with the Little Ear and every hour they spend in close contact thereafter, they must choose 1 of the following symptoms that they have not chosen before:

• Nausea. They can't eat or drink for a day. They are constantly at risk of vomiting.
• Aversion. They can't touch the Little Ear or anything made by the Little Ear.
• Unsteadiness. They can't properly focus and they lose some eye-hand coordination.
• Antipathy. Forevermore, whenever they are in close contact with a Little Ear, they experience nausea, aversion, and unsteadiness.

As long as they haven't chosen antipathy, the symptoms and the options reset after they have spent a full day away from the Little Ear.

 

Molted Market

The Little Ear helps maintain a Market where their kind trade their masterful wares for goods and services from non-Little Ear folk that might be useful in the completion of the Great Work.

The Market specializes in information on anyone you can think of, unmatched in level of disturbing detail and knowledge of intimate secrets.  

The twisted tunnels and hives of the Little Ears reflect the mazelike structure of their tedious bureaucracy. To enter the Molted Market, the heroes must find the hidden entrance right underneath their own house navigate through seemingly endless corridors, notes scrawled on the walls, and get administrative approval from the one that wears a necklace of preserved humanoid eyeballs.

Although some weirdos seek out goods made by Little Ear, an average person who discovers that an item given to them by the heroes was made by a Little Ear will destroy the item and seek heavy compensation. If they don't get it, they will spread the word that the heroes deal with Little Ears.

By Artistnamedniz

The name is a euphemism, of course, people hate and are terrified of the Little Ears that lurk beneath their floors and listen to every word they say. Sometimes they whisper to children, convince them to ask benign questions of their parents. If you can find one of their holes that they have dug into your home and make it deep within the depths of their hive and act in the right way you can manage to acquire any detail on anyone, no matter how private. Nobody can tell you this but don't mention Daurdec Volbamzu to them, then you won't be seen again.

But why do they do it? Why do they collect information on the lives of entire kingdoms? Nobody knows, but if someone were to go to the deepest parts of their hives where the notes pile up and threaten to crush you they would find the truth. Little Ears are trying to learn as much as they can about Daurdec Volbamzu, who by all appearances is a normal person but he has a secret: he is immortal and has lived many lifetimes at this point. Daurdec has no idea the Little Ears want to learn about him. Little Ears are paranoid and so to throw off suspicion they learn as much as they can about everyone, even those several kingdoms away. 

Nobody knows why they have human mouths or how they learned or tongue so fluently or how to mimic voices so well, but there will always be rumors, here are d6 of them

1 They were people once, they lost their old flesh now only bone remains, if you killed one you would find a full human skeleton
2 They stole them, one at a time, digging under old graveyards so that we don't even notice the missing bodies
3 They are slowly evolving into people, why else would they try and learn so much about us?
4 The Devil made them to torment us, human mouths to spout temptation and blaspheme
5 Wizards, who else would make that
6 This is just what happens when bugs get too clever for their own good

Out of all of the monsters in the book I find the Bugs to be the weirdest, I just don't get them. They seem to be an attempt to make your basic giant spider type enemies more interesting but it goes in a weird direction with the whole bureaucracy and The Great Work, it also feels like it has a lot more concepts thrown into it than a lot of the other entries making it feel a bit bloated and scattered. I still think it is quite well written and the monster it made this time is quite unique. 

Monstrous - The Brute

So it took a while but I finally got access to my physical copy of the book Monstrous by Cloud Curio. It contains some well written mad libs style prompts for making interesting monsters. Some of the prompts are a bit weird and I'm not quite sure how they would work in a game but from just reading it it seams to hold a lot of promise.

I plan on making a post for each monster (there are 10 in total). To help with this I will be using one of the ten guilds of Ravnica from Magic: The Gathering to help inspire each monster. The monster isn't going to be from the Ravnica world or the multiverse of MTG, just going to use the mana combination for some ideas. 

This post is going to contain the first monster I have made using Monstrous, a Brute.

Text in italics is from the book, text in bold is the stuff I filled in. 

 

 

Abrupt Decay by Svetlin Velinov

Brute - Golgari - Life Eater

Blood pact
Long ago, the Life Eaters willingly entered into a Blood Pact with a pact-holder. They swore to obey the pact-holder’s command to kill all beings that try and extend their lifespan
The pact-holder, in turn, harnessed great and terrible sorceries to grant the Life Eaters tough mycelial flesh, rotting acidic spores, and the ability to sense how old something is


Mark of the damned
Whatever noble intentions the Life Eaters might have had for entering into the Blood Pact, the oath eventually became their curse. The bodies of the Life Eaters became warped and beastly, and the gifts they received from the Blood Pact were corrupted.
The curse began when the life eaters turned on their godly creator, killing it.
Now marked by the curse, the Life Eaters spread its evil upon the world. The Life Eaters mark rotting matter by disintegrating it with its spores
Whatever is marked by the Life Eaters becomes more Life Eaters that grow and feast upon the rotting material


Profane aversion
In their cursed state, the Life Eaters cannot abide youth, which they avoid at all cost.
The Life Eaters are also repelled by reminders of their mortal lives before the Blood Pact, which will render them momentarily dazed before they are driven ever deeper into their cursed, beastly state.


Unleashed beasthood
In battle, the Life Eaters are merciless and brutal, leaving their victims melted and decomposing
When the Life Eaters attack with teeth, claws, or weapons, they also choose one of the following enhancements
The attack is entropic, preventing healing both natural and magical for a time
The attack is disfiguring, leaving the target both burned and aged

 

Sporemound by Svetlin Velinov

 

An ancient god of rot and death created the Life Eaters to ensure mortals would not rise above their station and try and unnaturally extend their life. This god made a mistake when creating the Life Eaters, their simple minds were commanded to slay all things which were not mortal or which tried to attain immortality. Being only able to comprehend the word of this law and not its meaning they looked at the world and attacked the oldest thing they could see: the very god that created them. After this shocking betrayal the other gods cast them to the mortal world where they could not touch them.

Now loosed upon the material plane they live without much purpose. Given a crippling fear of youth as a failed fail safe they only live in the most foul or barren regions of the world, slowly turning them into an acidic hellscape. The Life Eaters are horrible menaces, often killing the elderly and healers in their misguided attempt to stop the immortal. 

Despite these facts some still seek them out either for knowledge (for they know precisely how old something is) or for help against immortal foes (for though they are quite sedentary they can be roused if you manage to convince them). If one wishes to do this your greatest weapon against a Life Eater will be a newborn as they cannot stand its youth and will do anything for you to take it away.

So far Monstrous has been quite a fun book to use and it has lead me to some ideas I don't think I would have found without it. 

You should be able to get a PDF of Monstrous on Itch.io and it looks like physical copies might be available some time in the future if you missed the kickstarter but I don't have any details on that.