Wednesday, August 27, 2025

GLAUGUST 2025 - Train dungeon

Glaugust time, I got wizard tower dungeon (must have a gimmick) OR train dungeon (NOT too linear), we doin the train dungeon. 

 

From Monster Train 2


The train is made up of 13 rooms, one for the locomotive at the front of the train and the other twelve found in the four cars of the train, with each car being 3 stories tall. 
Characters can move between levels via staircases and between cars by rickety (but safe) metal bridges. The dungeon is therefor just a 3x4 grid (not counting the locomotive).
For each room other than the locomotive select a random room from the list of rooms below, each room appears only once. 
The party is intended to start at the last car on the top floor. 

 

Rooms

 

Horned Demon barracks
In this room
: 3 red skinned demons one drinking from a mug, four blazing torches
Red skinned demons: 2 HD each, punch or gore for 1d6, ac as leather, massive horns and muscles, very reckless and macho, two of them fight while a third drinks lava from a mug (he could splash someone with it for like 3d6 damage but he is loath to give up his drink)
The mug: is made of wood and fireproof
Blazing torches: made of infernal wood, burn supernaturally hot and bright, last for an hour once removed
If the party leaves without interacting: when they return one of the demons will be dead, the second will be crying, and the one drinking will be consoling the survivor 
Room interactions: if this room is adjacent to the angels incursion the two fighting demons will instead be almost done breaking down the barricades when the pcs make it here

Hobby garden
In this room: dirt covers the floor, a large bonsai tree grows in a corner, an old watering can on the floor
The dirt: has grass and small flowers growing from it
The bonsai tree: is around person sized and has 6 spiky fruit growing from it, one for each color, 
The spiky fruit
: eating a fruit grants +1d6 points to a stat for the rest of the day but causes you to lose 1/3 of your health, the fruit rot rapidly if you try and pull off the spikes, red boosts strength, orange boosts constitution, yellow boosts wisdom, green boosts dexterity, blue boosts intelligence, and purple boosts charisma
The watering can: is actually silver and worth 20 gp
Room interaction: if adjacent to the lunar conservatory silver lunar grass will be creeping into this room in the direction of the conservatory

Aquarium
In this room: water fills it completely, a giant moray eel sleeps at the bottom
The water: is bound to the car and will not leak out if the door is opened, it is also cursed, unnaturally cold and clouds your mind with dread, each round spent in the water deals 1 damage and the victim must save or mistrust their allies until the end of the day or their allies do something genuinely nice to them
The eel: 4 HD, bite for 1d12, ac as chain, just swimming through will not wake it up but blood in the water or messing with it will, runes tattooed on it grant it +5 to save against spells, intelligent and cruel, its favorite prey is wizards

Waxwork
In this room: wax and candles cover everything, a wax covered person paces around
The wax and candles: cover the floor, walls, and ceiling, if you move uncarefully through this room while wearing flammable clothing there is a 50% chance you catch on fire
The wax covered person: 3 HD, claw for 1d6, ac as unarmored, she can vomit a cone of melted wax (damage + slows), if the massive candle covering her head is snuffed she moves at half speed, if slain she reforms in 10 minutes, this can only be prevented if all the wax is melted off of her 
Secret: hidden within the wax is a treasure chest, within is 2d6*10 gp and a hand of glory.
Room interactions: if the horned demon room is above or below this one the wax of the room is melting, this also reveals the treasure chest

Chamber of shadow
In this room: there is only darkness like mist and heat like an oven
The darkness and the heat: is the body of DARK BURN HUNGER (which is its name and its nature), 6 HD, ac as unarmored, moves as fast as a limping man, everything within its bulk must save or take 1d6 damage as they are burned and 1d6 damage as they are bitten, if it kills something it spends a whole round doing nothing but eating, can only be harmed by light, cold, or true satisfaction, will only pursue the weak
If you manage to see the walls: they will be covered in soot and bite marks

The nursery 
In this room: is a horrible insect thing coiled on the ceiling and a pile of pink gems
The insect: 4 HD, ac as leather, bite for d8/claw for d6/sting for d4 + mind poison (save or forget a childhood memory), it can speak and will try to bargain with you for your soul, looks like a cross between a spider, a centipede, and a wasp, if you mess with it or the gems it will attack
The gems: are actually eggs though this is only apparent if you look close at the small shape within or if you break them, smashing them releases a swarm of horrible insect things, a handful of eggs can also be substituted for a soul in all kinds of dark rituals

Treasury
In this room: a pedestal with a golden egg on it, four statues of dragon men
Pedestal: made of stone, the egg is made from dragon gold, it is worth 500 gp but if owned for a month you become incredibly greedy and scales start to cover your body until you turn into a dragonborn after a full year
Dragon men statues: each has a hand held out with a gold coin on it, one of the statues wears a crown, the statues animate if the golden egg is taken unless the statue with the crown holds all four coins, when animated 3 HD, ac as plate, claw for 1d8/claw for 1d8, things that aren't meant to harm stone deal minimum damage, they will only harm the thief and will not leave the room unless the egg does

Conversion chambers
In this room: is an angel in chains, two faceless figures in black robes 
Chained angel: 4 HD, ac as chain, shattering touch for 2d6, one of his wings is like that of a bat, the other is having feathers plucked off of it by one of the figures revealing more bat-like flesh beneath, two small horns poke out of his head, he is currently being converted into a fallen angel by his own choice and will be very mad if you kill the black robed figures
Faceless figures: 1 HD each, ac as unarmored, curvy dagger for 1d4, one uses a metal tool to pluck the feathers from the angels wing, the other chants an unsettling mantra and waves its hands about, they have no face, only two glowing red eyes, when slain only their robes remain
Room interactions: if adjacent to the angels incursion the chained angel will be unchained and talking through the barricade trying to convert the wingless angels within

Lunar conservatory
In this room: silver grass grows from the ground, neon butterflies flutter about, a miniature moon floats in the center
Silver grass: is an invasive species from the moon, will out compete most other grasses if planted on the earth, though it feels like grass it also counts as actual silver for magical purposes 
Neon butterflies: in the color of the aurora borealis, emit a soft glow, they are the children of the moon and will one day grow into powerful wizards, for now the swarm can only cast magic missile if they all work together
Miniature moon: if you offend the moon (by insulting the moon, praising the sun, crushing one of the butterflies, etc) it will open to reveal an eye underneath and attack, 4 HD, ac as leather, will spend one turn charging up before firing a purple pink laser that deals 5d6 damage 

The clot
In this room: is nothing but mycelium
The mycelium: takes up the entire room, impassable unless you spend half an hour hacking through it, if you do every 10 minutes you need to save or take 1d4 damage from ejected poison 

The lab
In this room: a medical table with a massive corpse on it, a scientist, and a rack full of medical tools 
Medical table
: standard issue, on it a massive corpse made of different body parts sewn together, it is missing a right arm 
The scientist: clad in a white labcoat, she will ask the pcs with the highest constitution or charisma of the party if they would be willing to give up an arm for her monster, 1 HD, ac as unarmored, bonesaw for 1d6, will try to negotiate before resorting to combat
Rack of medical tools: contains an extra bonesaw, a syringe with two needles and two spaces for liquid, and a thermometer full of blessed mercury (measures your sin, a fever means you need to repent)
If this room is on the top floor: there is no roof and next to the medical table is a massive Tesla coil, there is a big switch on the wall and if pulled lightning strikes the corpse animating it, 5 HD, ac as leather, slam for 1d10, can slam twice if it has both arms, follows the commands of anyone who looks like a scientist

Angels incursion
In this room: are 3 wingless angels, a massive hole, and barricades 
Wingless angels: 3 HD each but currently at a third of their max health, ac as chain, holy halberd for 1d8 damage or double against any of the trains other inhabitants, wear gold trimmed armor, stubs where their wings were still bleed, don't want to be here, don't want to be in heaven either
Massive hole: on the side of the room, quite large and fills the room with howling wind, you can see the landscape fly by
Barricades: cover all entrances into this room, made out of wood, they could be noisily broken down in a minute or so
Room interactions: if adjacent to the horned demons room the horned demons will be almost done breaking through the barricades when the pcs make it here, if adjacent to the conversion chamber one of the wingless angels has been converted by their corrupted brethren and is waiting for a good opportunity to switch sides

 

By Dante Alighieri

 

 

The Locomotive
In this room: a weary looking man, a box of coal, a roaring firebox
The man: his name is Dante, he has no abilities and only 1 hp remaining, currently he is shoveling in coal into the firebox, he wants to leave this horrible place and get back to his wife
The coal: is in the shape of human skulls, made out of condensed sin they can be used to run infernal machines 
The firebox: must be constantly fed with the coal otherwise the train will come to a stop in 5 minutes, then in a further 5 it will explode into magical slag

Tuesday, August 12, 2025

GLAUGUST 2025 - Wells of the mythic underworld

My second post for Glaugust, the prompt for this one is a selection of interesting wells, wishing or non-wishing

 

Wells of the mythic underworld 

To randomly create a well for a dungeon start by rolling on state of the well followed by what is in the well, there is a 50% chance you get to roll on something extra 

If the resulting well would be useful to some of the inhabitants of the dungeon there is an 80% chance they make use of it, otherwise something is stopping them from using it.  

 

State of the well 

1 broken, you would need a carpenter to fix it
2 intact but missing its rope and bucket
3 missing a bucket but has a rope
4 has a bucket and a rope

What is in the well

1 just water thankfully
2 water and fish, roll for what type
        1 blind cave piranhas, always hungry
        2 sad looking bloated fish, they are poisonous to surface dwellers but delicious to denizens of the underworld, random encounters become more likely in their presence
        3 you might call it a fish but all the tubes and goat like eyes make you question this, if you stare too long into its eyes it will psychically command you to aid them
3 blood, always fresh somehow
4 darkness, somehow you can hold it in a bucket, if you "splash" it you cover a whole room in darkness for around an hour, good lighting will cause the darkness to "dry up" in around 10 minutes
5 chicken noodle soup, concerningly tastes exactly like how your grandmother use to make it
6 green slime

Something extra

1 the well is giant sized, being at least 5x bigger than normal, you probably can't operate it
2 at the bottom of the well is a mini dungeon, whatever is in the well is waist high throughout it, if you don't have a dungeon to put here just make 1d4+2 rooms 
3 a Naiad presides over this well and will not let you take anything from it without an offering, her personality will be influenced by whatever is in the well
4 halfway down the well is a door which opens up into a room on the next floor of the dungeon
5 a sign on it says "toss in a coin and make a wish", the first time any particular creature tosses in a coin (any coin) and makes a wish it will come true, but only roughly 1% of it, if the wisher asks for money it will eject two coins instead of 1% of the money they asked for
6 ridiculously deep, takes 10 minutes to lower and raise a bucket

 

By Rakot13, CC BY-SA 3.0, via Wikimedia Commons
The Kola Superdeep Borehole, the deepest man made hole




 

Tuesday, August 5, 2025

GLAUGUST 2025 - Key Swords and Lock Golems

For Glaugust, the first prompt I got was "Create something inspired by Kingdom Hearts without looking up anything about Kingdom Hearts". 

I am not a fan of Kingdom Hearts but I vaguely remember that's the games with keys that are swords and has Disney characters in it for some reason (or maybe that's from something else and I am going insane). 

 

From Hero's Armory


 

The Key Swords are ancient relics, given the power to open up flesh as well as they open up locks. They are +1 swords that can be used once a day to cast knock. When used to batter down a locked door, portcullis, iron bars, or anything similar (but only if they are locked) it will break it down with only 1d4 rounds of battering. When the Key Sword reduces a creature to exactly 1 hp they have their soul unlocked and will have a deep personal revelation about the nature of themselves (note, stabbing your friend until their depression is cured will definitely do more harm than good).

 

The Lock Beasts are ancient constructs, crafted to seal away the greatest of evils and most glorious treasures. They appear as large humans made entirely out of chain wrapped tightly together, at the center of their chest is a massive padlock which all the chains attach to. Use the stats of an iron golem as the base for the Lock Beast but remove all of their special abilities and instead give them the following traits

  • On their turn they may lock any number of things instead of attacking
  • If someone successfully picks the central lock the beast takes 2d12 damage
  • If the knock spell is cast on them they are stunned for one round
  • If the lock spell is cast on them they get +2 ac for the duration 
  • There is one lock that, while the Lock Beast lives, cannot be unlocked by any means, the Lock Beast knows whenever the lock is messed with, if you can't decide there is a 50/50 chance it is either locking up a horrible monster or guarding fabulous wealth and treasure
  • They take double damage from Key Swords 
  • If someone attacks with a Key Sword and they aim for the padlock on a hit they can unlock the beast, killing it instantly but the Key Sword will be stuck in the lock, you can still use it as a +1 mace but it loses all of its other properties



Long ago there was a great civilization of wizards and, as you can probably guess, the wonders they made were only eclipsed by their mistakes, too horrible and numerous to name. As their time was coming to an end some of them realized that though they could not bring back their empires glory they could contain their failures and try to make the future better for everyone else. The Lock Beast's were their solution and it was working very well, sealing away the most cursed of treasures and deadliest monsters. Sadly some wizards used the beasts to selfishly hide away their treasures, worse still other wizards made the Key Swords so that they could plunder the treasures of others or (foolishly) try and harness the power of some of the sealed monsters.  


What the Lock Beast Guards
1 Scrooge McDuck levels of gold
2 lots of money and 1d4 magic items you really want to give your party but haven't had an opportunity to give 
3 a legion of robotic soldiers who will follow anyone that reactivates them though they often misunderstand what you want and only solve problems through extreme violence
4 horrible magical radioactive waste, gives your spells cancer, mutates anything that gets close, will irradiate the whole dungeon in a week and (to a lesser extent) the entire surrounding hex in a month
5 enough zombies to change the genre of your campaign 
6 a dragon that's also a vampire that's also an archangel

 

Where in the dungeon is the Key Sword 
1 sitting on a stone column, the room is full of traps
2 in the hands of another adventuring party, they will definitely try and open the Lock Beast in this dungeon with it, regardless of how many times they are warned that this is a bad idea
3 being held by one of the most powerful denizens of the dungeon who has wisely decided not to open the Lock Beast
4 somewhere among all the junk of some goblins (or similar) who have no idea as to its true worth 
5 inside of the belly of a powerful monster who ate its last wielder
6 broken into multiple pieces, somewhere in the dungeon is a way to recombine them

Monday, August 4, 2025

Monstrous - Dragon

The fourth of my posts on using the book Monstrous to make some cool monsters. 

For inspiration I am using one of the guilds of Ravnica from Magic: the Gathering. Text in italics is from the book, text in bold is my own.

 


 

By Erica Yang


 

 

Dragon - Orzhov - Gold 

 

Vainglory

Although Gold's empire has laid in ruins for ages, Gold's vanity remains undiminished. Gold harbors a deep pride in its nature in being gold itselfleading it to hoard beautiful golden items and goldsmiths held in gilded birdcages. 

Sly heroes can attempt to appeal to this vanity by doing one of the following:

  • Convincingly praise Gold with elaborate honorifics specific to Gold's vanity and the history of its former empire
  • Present Gold with a fabulous gift appropriate to Gold's hoard 
  • Tell Gold a tale about the folly of charity 

One or two failed attempts give Gold the upper hand in attempts to parley with it when using Serpent's Tongue. Further failed attempts will awaken Gold's Slumbering Cataclysm. 

 

Serpent's Tongue

When Gold and a mortal parley, they ask each other a question.

Gold must answer truthfully and even unwisely if the mortal has successfully appealed to Gold's Vainglory. The mortal must make a new appeal to Gold's Vainglory for each additional question they wish to ask. 

The mortal must answer truthfully and even unwisely if they hold any precious metal other than gold, or if they have failed an attempt to appeal to Gold's Vainglory. 


Ruinous Breath

Everything Gold touches comes to ruin, even the food it eats and the air it breathes. When Gold has recently consumed uncountable riches, its expelled breath corrupts and corrodes charity and kindness. 

 

Ageless Scales

Gold is coated with nigh-indestructible scales of pure gold. No mortal weapon can pierce them.

However, Gold's scales are marred by a massive fang of pure silver, the mark of a gruesome battle lost to history. 


Slumbering Cataclysm

When violently awakened from its slumber or moved to great anger, Gold descends upon a mortal civilization and utterly destroys a place of extreme wealth before returning to its lair.

Gold repeats this destructive act on a new target every day thereafter. Its path of destruction can only be ended by slaying Gold or by giving it all the gold in land.

 

By waitbutwhy.com


To be fully honest I am not quite happy with this monster, I have been thinking for a while about what to add to the end of this post and I have decided just to post it, no use in waiting for good ideas that might not come. 

 

 

Getting back to reviewing Monstrous I think the dragon entry is pretty good, the ruinous breath part seems a little weird to me but its fun and flavorful and could probably lead to some interesting situations. The serpents tongue/vainglory is very interesting and gives a nice amount of procedure to dealing with the dragon socially which is actually quite nice. The dragon was definitely one of the better entries in the book.

Tuesday, July 22, 2025

Monstrous - Chimera

My third post on Monstrous, I'm glad I finally got some time to write on this blog again.

As always I am going to use one of the guilds of Ravnica for inspiration, the text in italics is from the book and text in bold is my own writing. 

 

The Minotaur by George Frederic Watts

 

 

Chimera - Boros - The Revolutionary

 

Pride Goeth

The Revolutionary was once a mortal who forgot their place in the cosmic order, provoking the terrible fury of a powerful tormentor by trying to depose the terrible but divinely chosen King.

  

Tormented Transfiguration

As punishment for their offense, the mortal was transformed into the Revolutionary, featuring the following monstrous alterations to its body:

  • A reminder of its lowly station: the body of a starving lion
  • A source of constant misery: an iron crown nailed to its head
  • A horror that cannot help but unleash on mortals it encounters: a halo of light that blinds and burns
  • Its human head weeps tears of molten iron


Inexorable Doom

The Revolutionary is forever doomed to rule over the burnt remains of its kingdom, a sadistic form of "atonement" for the crime against its tormentor.

The tormentor created an obstacle to prevent the Revolutionary from escaping its doom: only when the descendants of the lord truly proclaim it to be a good ruler will it be freed. Not even death can free the Revolutionary from its anguish until this obstacle is overcome. 

 

Afflicted Blood

When the Revolutionary suffers a wound that would be deadly to a mortal, its afflicted blood spills in gouts, causing fire to erupt from the wound

Additionally, the Revolutionary can break off a limb or other body part to create a gushing fountain of afflicted blood, which it can channel into one of the following effects: 

  • Shape the blood into a magical weapon
  • Shoot the blood as a projectile
  • Flood a nearby area with the blood
The severed body part regrows over the course of 13 days.  

 

 

The High Wills from Blasphemous

The man who would become the First King was visited by the gods and they said unto him "You shall be King, one for whom others will bow to" and so it was that all others bowed to the First King. When the First King was closest to Death he named his son to be the Second King and the gods were pleased and all rightfully bowed to him who was now the Second King. The line of the gods-chosen kings continued until the 17th King rose to the throne and said "My subjects who loyally served my fathers I ask of you to make me a temple, greater than all before it, one that shall glorify all the gods and myself and it shall be constructed in a year and a day". When a year and a day had come and gone the temple was not completed and the 17th King became enraged and forced his subjects to work under the whip. 

Within the heart of one of the knights of the 17th King pity and disgust took hold. He went to his most loyal subjects and bid them join him in ending the madness of the 17th King and so they did. The knights went to the castle of the 17th King and knowing they could not prevail with strength alone they spread fire and chaos through the castle. When they made it into the 17th King's throne room only the original knight was left and with his sword he committed a grave sin and slew the 17th King. It is said that the only thing louder than the flames that consumed the castle were the screams of the knight as the gods descended upon him.  

 

The blade of the knight can still be found in the ancient and burnt ruins of the castle, still thirsting for the blood of nobles. It is a +1 sword that acts as a +3 vorpal sword against nobility. The sword is also cursed, though the wielder may relinquish the blade at any time they will be relentlessly hunted by its next owner, additionally each month the wielder does not use the blade to kill a noble they lose 1 intelligence and wisdom but gain 1 strength, if this reduces the character to 0 intelligence or wisdom the blade will fully control their body and mindlessly slaughter any royalty it comes across. The blade cannot harm the Revolutionary under any circumstances. 



This one was quite fun to make (despite the fact that it took around half a year to get around to finishing) and the concept is quite strong. Honestly the only part that I find a bit weird about the chimera is the afflicted blood ability where it can make a magical weapon, it doesn't feel like an innate part of the chimera concept unless its supposed to represent something like cutting off Medusa's head and using it or something like a dark souls boss making a sword out of its blood or something? Even with that I still think it's one of the most solid creatures in the whole book, really nailing the vibe of a classical monster. 

Saturday, March 8, 2025

Monstrous - Celestial

The third post from Monstrous, Celestials.

As per last time I am going to use one of the guilds of Ravnica for inspiration, the text in italics is from the book and text in bold is my own writing. 


By William Blake



Celestial - Simic - Firstborn

Awesome Presence

Mortal minds struggle to perceive the beautiful and terrible form of the Firstborn. It appears as a multitude of primordial beasts and serpents bound within the frame of ever churning earth and sea.

Common folk who behold the Firstborn for the first time must choose 1 of the following actions before addressing it further

  • Make a sacrifice of flesh or gold
  • Accept a physical mark of the Firstborn, such as scales, a new mouth on their palm, or brackish water instead of mud
  • Have serpents burst forth from their mouth

 

Prophet

The Firstborn's appearance in the world is preceded by the pronouncements of a mortal prophet clad in shed snake skin.

Before they witnessed the Firstborn's divine judgement firsthand, the prophet was a wet nurse for a powerful and deranged wizard.

When the prophet speaks at length about the Firstborn's coming judgement before a rapt crowd, they condemn a specific mortal or group of mortals for their sins and call down a plague of venomous and rabid animals

 

Purview

The Firstborn judges and punishes sins of unnaturally changing or creating life.

For those who will listen, the Firstborn warns that their final divine judgement will be executed when the alchemist Robin De Villepin's homunculus speaks its first word.

The Firstborn further instructs that their judgement can only be avoided by burning Robin's manse and making sure none of his books or creations survive, a cruelly difficult task.


Divine Judgement

The punishments dealt by the Firstborn are severe to the point of excess, mirroring the sin with a cruel irony by transforming living beings into chaotic and primordial versions of themselves. The Firstborn begins by judging individual creatures and objects, but its final judgement can affect entire settlements, civilizations, or worlds.

Whatever the Firstborn's verdict, they will choose a new prophet, either a survivor of the cataclysm or a convert who has witnessed the mercy of the gods. The Firstborn will prefer to select a hero, and should they accept, they will receive the gift of prophecy as well as the ability to call down minor plagues. But they may be summoned at any time to herald the next divine judgement.

 

 

Unknown Author

 

Unlike the last two I don't really have much to add to this beast. God/Gods made it as the first living being which is why it is unformed and ever changing and they send it to decimate anyone who tries to copy them.

 

 

Monday, February 24, 2025

Me-Stew

 Me-Stew

 

I have nothing to put in my stew, you see,
Not a bone or a bean or a black-eyed pea,
So I'll just climb in the pot to see
If I can make a stew out of me.
I'll put in some pepper and salt and I'll sit
In the bubbling water--I won't scream a bit.
I'll sing while I simmer, I'll smile while I'm stewing,
I'll taste myself often to see how I'm doing.
I'll stir me around with this big wooden spoon
And serve myself up at a quarter to noon.
So bring out your stew bowls,
You gobblers and snackers.
Farewell--and I hope you enjoy me with crackers!
 
 By Shel Silverstein
 
 
 
 
 
This is a Δ template for whatever chef class you have, to be added at your leisure. Read more about them here.
 

(Δ) Me-Stew
 
First you will have to be an excellent chef at least on the level that a king would hire you, then you must do some research. Find holy books relating to self sacrifice and martyrdom and ruminate on them for a week and you will know what must be done. Find a person or something that was a person and watch them eat another with utter refinement, take notes on everything they do. Find another such person and watch them eat another with utter savagery, take notes on everything they do. Find one final such person and watch them eat a piece of you, take notes on everything they do. If you lose any of your notes or are convinced that cannibalism is wrong you must start again.
 
This will kill you, you probably guessed that but it will be worth it, it must be worth it.
 
The first step is to wash yourself. Do not use soap (the oil on your skin is delectable). The water should be between room temperature and lukewarm, hot water will dry you out and cold water will ruin the texture. 

The second step is to get into the cauldron, it must be big enough that if you sit cross legged you will be fully submerged. Fill it with clear water and light a fire underneath it, an assistant will be useful here as from now on you cannot leave the cauldron without ruining the meal.
 
The third step requires a pantry worth of ingredients of the highest quality, this will cost the equivalent of a full suit of plate armor. Prepare the ingredients and toss them in beside you. At this point the water will be boiling but you will not scream, you are too engrossed in your work. Taste yourself too, adjust the spices and be careful not to over salt yourself. This will take 8 hours before you completely boil away, there won't even be bones to fish out. 
 
The fourth step is to serve it of course, the effect of the meal depends on how it is shared. 
  • If shared among a community the soup will seem to be never ending, feeding everyone for months. Everyone will love the party of course but the cooking of the community will also change, chefs and cooks will unconsciously start to make the meals that you made or invented, within a few years your works will be widespread. One person from this community will join the party, starting with 1 level in chef and 1 level in another class of the dead chef's player's choice which they can play as.
  • If shared among the party the soup will feed everyone for a week, though with such a full stomach you wont be able or willing to do much else for that week. When the party finally finishes the meal they all feel incredible, roll 4d6 drop the lowest for each of your stats in order, if you got higher than the existing stat its value is now the value you rolled, if you got equal to or lower it still goes up by 1. The lifespan of all who consumed it is doubled and they become immune to all mundane diseases.
  • If eaten by a single person the soup will last a month but if you don't eat it for every meal (not that hard, it is quite delicious) or let anyone else eat even a drop you lose all benefit from it. After finishing the soup the knowledge of the chef is passed on to you, in only a week you will be as good a chef as your predecessor and you will know what must be done to make Me-Stew (you may use your predecessor's notes). The voice of your predecessor will linger within your mind and you can summon their ghost to act as an assistant when cooking. If you cook yourself into Me-Stew and only a single person eats the soup again both you and your predecessor will be within them, this can be stacked any number of times.